Airplanes – oh, how some of us love them, and some of us hate them. I’ve always loved flying, and actually prefer those long 10+ hours flights. For me, there’s no better way to travel; sitting on a plane, watching a movie (or 10), listening to a book, reading, impatiently waiting for some food being delivered in those tiny little cute packages – you always think it won’t be enough and you always end up too full.
However, flying can also be quite a pain, depending on what goes on around you, and how much you actually let it affect you.
The worst flight in my entire life was back in the day when one was actually allowed to smoke on the flight. We were off to Cyprus to celebrate my mother’s 40th birthday, and back then, my entire family was smoking (except me!). Thus, there was no need to even discuss the seating arrangements!
The smoking section it is!
Everyone obviously had to sit together – in the smoking section – no discussion! So, I ended up sitting next to a man smoking cigars, and when I say cigars in plural I mean plural! He was actually more or less chainsmoking cigars. My eyes were hurting, tears falling down my cheeks and I found it hard to breathe. I remember hiding underneath my sweater just to get away from the smoke.
What a most enjoyable start on our vacation.
I’ve always been baffled over how people behave on flights. I’m an introvert, obviously, and I do so much dislike small talk with people I don’t know. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be rude, but that’s just the way I am, and since I find it hard to be unfriendly, I usually end up sitting there, nodding and trying to be nice, listening to some rant about this or that. Every time I sit down in a plane I fear the one next to me will start talking. And never shut up. That would be… well, horrible to say the least…
But there are also other crazy stuff you can indulge in (except for yapping like a complete lunatic) on a flight, to be a nuisance for everyone around you…
Therefore, I have conducted this list for you, so you can avoid being unnecessary rude next time you’re up in the air. Frustration built this list, since I have lived through them all… Here are 10 simple tips on proper behaviour onboard your next flight.
#TIP NO 1
Please brush your teeth before you get onboard, or at least make sure you have brushed them some time during the last 24 hours. Please maintain a relatively fresh overall hygien = don’t smell like a skunk, neither from your mouth nor anywhere else!
#TIP NO 2
Don’t pour red wine down your throat like it’s the last drink left in the universe, if not for the simple fact that drunk people get extremely annoying, then for the reason you will smell even worse, and when you’re smashed you tend to sleep with your mouth open, puffing stale air on people all around you. Rather nauseating, really! If you’re drinking because you’re nervous about flying, well, there are other ways to cope with fear… like NOT flying… or tranquilizers… either is better than alcohol!
#TIP NO 3
If your neighbour, in an obvious manner, shows that she’s uninterested in any kind of social interaction, then don’t yap a lot of nonsense, and don’t ask stupid questions like: “Are they showing any good movies?” Everyone has their own screen today (on most flights), so it can’t be that hard to investigate on your own – on your own screen! Please do not look at mine!
#TIP NO 4
Don’t fall asleep drooling on your neighbour, i.e. don’t lean on shoulders, arms or any other body parts belonging to somebody else! Even how tempting it might be!
#TIP NO 5
Don’t impinge on your neighbour’s space; you’ve probably paid the same amount for the trip, so why should you be allowed a bigger space? It’s incredibly uncomfortable having to sit with a crooked back for – say – 11 hours, simply because you feel you’re bigger and better! If the neighbour timidly tries to get more space, then pay attention!
#TIP NO 6
Almost the same as no 5; don’t exaggerate your arm space, thus stopping your neighbour from eating whenever the food is around!
#TIP NO 7
Don’t bring fragile plant creations, if you’re not prepared to sacrifice your own comfort! Don’t raise horrendous demands such as telling the person in front of you to sit straight during the long flight, to protect YOUR plant. While telling them “it’s not a problem!”. And don’t say that you, yourself can’t keep it in your own lap because that would be uncomfortable! For you. If you’re carrying fragile things you, yourself, should be sitting poorly and not your neighbours!
#TIP NO 8
Burping, barfing, farting – now and again – please don’t – at all! It’s rather unpleasant in a sealed up space such as an airplane. I understand it’s hard to avoid at times, but really? There are lavatories! After all, we are no longer neanderthals. I think…
#TIP NO 9
Don’t poke your nose and don’t smear your boggers everywhere around you!
#TIP NO 10
Sit still with your legs for Christ’s sake, it’s not a marathon! The same goes for pulling and pushing the seat in front of you. Incredibly annoying for the one sitting in front of you!
So, those were the most basic tips – MY basic tips ( ^.~ ) – on how to behave onboard an airplane! Did I forget something, please feel free to comment! I can imagine this is a subject plenty of people have opinions about. ^.^
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